The Pie League


By Deep Pan


Part 1: Thomas’ introduction


Thomas got out of the cab, and having tipped the driver, made his way to the Exclusive club. As he opened the door, Thomas patted his pocket to ensure he’d still got the invitation that a female client has given him when she’d suggested the place. Inside, Thomas was pleased to see that the club was stylishly furnished and dressed as he was in a dinner jacket he didn’t look out of place. Thomas made his way over to the reception desk and after showing his invitation to the young female receptionist was directed to the great hall.


As its name implied, the great hall was a large, exquisitely decorated room with a raised stage at the far end and numerous tables and chairs scattered throughout it. There were perhaps thirty people seated in the room, distinguished looking gentleman and attractive mature women in evening dresses. Catering to these were a dozen or so young waiters and waitresses.


“Ladies and gentlemen shall we begin?” called out one of the gentlemen, who had made his way up onto the stage and now stood behind a lectern facing the room.


Thomas had just spotted an empty chair and sat down when the man on the Stage announced that they had a guest and potential new member present, this caused a few sniggers, and could Thomas come up to the stage. Thomas walked across the room as the lights began to dim and walked up on to the stage. Nervously he turned to face the audience and stood waiting.


From the right hand side of the stage a young waiter approached Thomas with a heaped deep-dish creamy custard pie balanced in his hand. Catching Thomas’ eye he smiled knowingly at him before turning to face the audience and wait. Thomas felt hot, very hot; he was sweating both from the tension of the situation and from the stage spotlights which were now turned upon him.


“Let us begin with…” the man at the lectern started to say.


Part 2: Things get messy


But before he could finish the waiter had thrust his pie into Thomas’ face. Thomas’ world went black as reactively he shut his eyes, then yellow as he tentatively opened them. He could feel the most of the pie cream firmly affixed to his face, although some of a runnier consistency was moving drop over his face and dripping down on to his shirt and jacket. Wiping the pie cream from out of his eyes he looked out on an applauding, laughter-filled, appreciative audience.


Turning to spot his assailant he found the waiter taking a further two heaping pies from a shapely young waitress who was dressed as a French maid in a short black dress with lace trim, fishnet stockings, high heels and a white lace apron tied around her waist.  Both noticed him watching and hurried to take up their posts, the waiter next to Thomas with pies held tantalising close and the waitress off stage beside a trolley laden with more creamy pies.


The man at the lectern opened his mouth and gestured towards Thomas who now discovered that the earlier pie had deafened him. However Thomas didn’t need his hearing to guess what was coming next and sure enough moments later another pie found its way into his face and lodged there.


Pulling the pie plate from off his face and scraping much of the cream away, Thomas waited silently with nervous anticipation building as the waiter stood patiently holding a second pie down by his side. Thomas waited what felt like hours, but in reality was probably no more than a few seconds, before the man shoved the pie straight into Thomas’ crotch.


Instead of letting go as before the waiter continued to grind the pie, up and down, round and round, against Thomas’ groin. Instinctively Thomas began to bend over, arms going forward, trying to hide his growing arousal from his antagonist and the watching audience.


Part 3: Ganged up against


Released from his intimate massage Thomas tried to regain his composure. He cleared the earlier pie cream from out of his ears and looked out across an audience eager for more humiliation to be heaped upon him. Suddenly he realised that the announcer was in mid flow and only caught the end of what he was saying.


“…colloquially known as a pie sandwich.”


Expectantly, Thomas turned to face the waiter who in turned looked up at Thomas with an innocent expression across his face and one hand hidden behind his back.


Suddenly Thomas’ face was sandwiched between a pair of creamy pies delivered from behind him. Still able to partly see Thomas turned to find the waitress now beside him, a smile dancing across her face, before yet again his sight was obscured by the application of a pie into his face from the waiter.


Thomas shook his head in an attempt to dislodge the pies but to no avail and was forced to peel them off of his head one by one until he regained use of his senses.  The waitress had returned with a tray bearing three heaping cream pies; one was taken by the waiter, she then offered another to the announcer who took it before she took the final pie for herself and put the tray down.


The woman struck first slam-dunking her pie down hard on top of Thomas’ head. Next the announcer stepped up and brought his pie up to Thomas’ face but then just held it there. Just as Thomas started to wonder what the announcer was going to do the waiter, who was now behind Thomas, slapped his pie against Thomas’ butt and in the process forced Thomas to take a step forward and bury his face into the waiting pie.


Part 4: An unexpected encore


The audience signalled its approval with cheers, clapping, stamping of feet and cries of “more, more” or “encore!” Unnoticed by them however there was movement at the entry to the room, as pie-filled trolleys were wheeled into the room. Hidden by the dim lighting and drowned out by their own applause, waiters and waitresses bearing creamy pies silently made their way over to the audience.


Suddenly chaos erupted in the room as the lights were turned up and the waiters and waitresses unloaded their pies in to the audience. Thomas stared out into the audience, in one corner two waitresses were repeatedly pieing a middle-aged gentleman.  A couple of tables away, one gentleman watched as his female companion received a pair of pies, to the face and the back of their head, from a waiter. Next it was her turn to watch, as a waitress placed a pie down on the table in front of the gentleman and moments later forced his head down into it.


Not everything was going in the waiter and waitresses favour however. Across the hall one young waitress had just deposited a pie on top of the head of an already pie-faced gentleman when her victim reached across to a trolley and removing a pie thrust it in to her disbelieving face. The woman was relieved to see two of her male colleagues rush over to assist her. But instead of helping her they grabbed hold of the neckline of her dress and after pulling it down pushed her topless into the open arms of her former victim.


Nearby another waiter standing beside a trolley still laden with pies, had noticed these happenings with some amusement and turning to notify his female colleague was met with a pie in the face. Clearing the pie from his eyes he reached of a pie on the trolley to retaliate only for the waitress to shove him from behind causing him to fall across the trolley and into the remaining pies. Extracting himself from the trolley the waiter found his traitorous associate gone and an older woman now beside him with pies in hand.


Captivated by these sights Thomas failed to take sufficient notice of his situation until suddenly two arms grabbed him around the waist and in two deft movements undid his belt buckle and yanked down his trousers. Looking down he saw a pair of delicate-looking hands descend into his boxer shorts, one cupped his balls and the other started to gently stroke his already erect penis.


Part 5: A full member


Gradually the hand teasing his penis became more resolute as it took a firm hold and began to move purposefully up and down the shaft. Thomas was lost in ecstasy, as he stood there on stage, unmindful of his audience; who in turn were oblivious of him as they continued with their own slapstick activities or engaged in more intimate pursuits.  Suddenly the moment of release came and the hands withdrew from the confines of his boxer shorts.


Thomas took a couple of deep breaths and was about to turn to confront the waitress, who was undoubtedly the owner of the hands that had been pleasuring him when he noticed his other former assailants and the announcer approach. The waiter held a heaped creamy custard pie in each hand whilst the announcer, still immaculately dressed in his dinner jacket, held another such pie.


“Please allow me to congratulate you on your membership” the announcer said.


And with that the announcer grinned as he wound back his arm, pie held aloft, ready to thrust it into Thomas’ accepting face. However the grinned disappeared as the announcer’s face was engulfed in an expertly delivered cream pie from his companion.  Then as the announcer tried valiantly to retain hold of his pie and not drop it, the waiter pulled out the waistband of the announcer’s trousers and deposited a pie down into them giving the announcer’s crotch a brief caress as he did so.


The waiter took the announcer’s pie off him and Thomas was astonished when he offered it to him. Not without a little trepidation Thomas reached for the pie and took hold of it.  He examined the two men before him: the young waiter and the older pie-faced announcer, trying to decide whose face to decorate with the pie when he suddenly recalled the waitress behind him.


“Too late” he heard a female voice say as a hand reach out from behind him and forced Thomas to thrust the pie he held into his own face.


The end …



© ECgunge 2006